Tibbits

 I think I am funny. As this is subjective and falls under the category "opinion" I am get to hold onto my truth as I see it. 

While I understand I am not for everyone, and my sense of humor can lean towards the absurd and/or macarbe, I like this about myself. And as someone who deals with a LOT of self doubt and hatred, I will take a like when I can. 

One of my dreams is to be prolific published author. But that requires me to actually WRITE. And that requires WORK and a sense of self worth. I am striving to overcome my aversion to working and trying to get over myself enough to put words down. Unitl those days come in greater frequency, I will still think I am funny and thus try to capture funny thoughts and bits of conversation I have in my head for future use. In my email I have a draft that I add to whenever I think of something funny or thought provoking for future use. 

Since that future may be a long time coming, I am putting a few here. Some are funny. Some are thoughts I had that I didn't want to lose. 

*I made the mistake of checking rail prices on railninja and now I'm being haunted by them

*I would say don't do anything I wouldn't, but that list is skewed in all the wrong directions. 

*Stop skipping leg day. You could be taken down by a well placed chihuahua.

*Give the gun to her. 

Ooo! I get a gun? Why? Because I'm an American? Gimme gimme gimme!

Do you even know how to use a gun? 

Nope. I'm not from Texas. 

I thought you were from Florida. 

I am. But that is a whole 'nother batch of crazy. 

Don't give her the gun. 

*Well, there are plenty of fish in the sea. 

What if I'm a starfish?

What?

What if I'm a starfish? I'm not a regular fish, swimming around. I'm a starfish stuck to the bottom of the ocean. And starfish aren't actual fish! They are fake fish according to the shark from that one hopscotch video.

(Insults Below. Because I always want at least 1 sassy character who doesn't hold back)

*You are a fart on an airplane. 

*Thought of the day: I cannot call a student a constipated ghost no matter how much he sounds like one. 

*Please go try breathing underwater for a bit. 

And last, but one of my ultimate favorites: 

*I could paper the walls with the mistakes I have made. Monotone and monotonous because they haven't changed. 

I hope you have enjoyed. And remember: it doesn't have to be pretty. It just has to make you happy.