Saturday, May 15, 2010

Dreams

About 2 weeks ago I sent my manuscript off to an agent, hoping that within the six weeks that they promised, they would get back to me. I still have 4 weeks to go and I really don't mind the wait. In that time I have had a chance to make some minor changes to the manuscript- having really only sent the first chapter (which is all they wanted to begin with). I am also trying to write the second book. It is fun going. There have been some plot twists I didn't forsee, but that is where my characters are taking me.... And I have learned from past experiences to let them run the way they would since impossing my will only ends in frustrations and dozen of pages being deleted.
It has been a dream to be a published author for over ten years. I can't believe I have FINALLY finished something that I feel is not only long enough but good enough to send out into the world.
But, despite all of the dreams of seeing my book on the shelves, with a pretty/shiny cover, I just can't really see it. Who am I to write things that other people will not only want to read, but pay for the privledge to do so? (Having only a slightly small panic attack).
Then I have the issue of family and friends. I don't think my family will like it. Don't get me wrong, we all love each other. It is just in a very distant, non-touchy-feely manner (there are many reasons for me being in California, other than school, while the rest of my family is on the East Coast). Mostly, I think my parents, and only 2 or 3 of the 9 sibblings (plus in-laws) will read it.
It will be okay. I will see this through. I just hope that my second novel doesn't take 3 years to write and edit like the last one.