I love to sleep because I get to dream.
Not that I sleep through a night. But that is for another entry. And the fact that the fan on my computer isn't working and I am using a fan I bought for my room to cool down my computer means that I have to type this leaning forward and down doesn't have any pertinence to this entry either. I just want anyone who does read this to understand any mistypes or incomprehensible ramblings (more so than normal) isn't my fault.
Alright. Back to dreaming.
All who know me (and you should know me if you are reading this even though it has been over a year since I have posted on this blog) know that I am 30 and not married. It is an all thought consuming state of being for me at the moment. I am on a dating site that I am rapidly thinking is more than useless. The last guy who messaged me was 22 years older(!!!!!) than me. That makes him 6 years younger than my mom. Yeah. I am still reeling about this. The guys who I am interested in aren't interested in me. How is this better than dating in real life? Especially since the guy I am interested in in my ward isn't interested in me.
I am seeing NO difference at all. Except I have to pay to get rejected online.
But back to dreams.
I took a nap today (something I REALLY needed since my classes begin at 7 am) and had a dream. I am not sure how it started- that detail already having escaped me. But I was with my friend Scott, who then turned into someone else, someone who I was more romantically involved with than him. What is sticking with me the most is the feel of his arms around me. Throughout the dream any time we would be walking (which seemed like a lot of the time now that I think about) his arm is around me. I really liked it. But now that I am awake I miss it. I miss being held.
Normally I don't want to be touched. But cuddling is one of the things I miss most about not dating. I haven't cuddled with any one is a very long time.
I feel like I am missing something I wasn't earlier today because of that dream. It felt so real but it wasn't.
I am not sure how to finish this other than to apologize to anyone who has had to listen to me rant about this lately. But I really needed to get this out.
