I have discovered in my attempt to gain a new roommate because my current roommate not only doesn't pay her bills but I am her manager at work and I know when she comes in after midnight when she has to work at six in the morning that one of my greatest fears is looking like a stalker.
As I write these profiles and ads on the Internet I realize just how awkward I feel when I have to describe myself. I had similar anxieties when I was on those stupid date sites that I use to frequent (see earlier posts on the subject). Here I am, a single white girl looking for someone to fulfill some void in my life- wither it be someone to actually pay the rent on time, or someone to become the love of my life- not knowing what to say without sounding desperate and completely psychotic.
Which is how I feel most of the time anyways, so maybe it isn't that far off from the truth.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Capsized Kayaks and Three Trips to LA
Alright, so it was only 2 trips to Los Angeles, but there was a trip to San Diego and to Long Beach to get and return my friend to the airport there, but over all there was A LOT of driving invovled. And since Scott doesn't know how to drive in Southern California, I did all of the driving. But it was worth it.
I have lived in California for two years (as of Monday this week) and haven't been to the Hollywood sign. Which we had to hike 1.3 miles UP HILL to get to. All who know me know just about how much I whine. Especially when there is climbing invovled. For some reason, there was a to of climbing invovled in the adventures that occured this past week.
We went kayaking. And capsized when we were only 5 feet from shore. I was knocked underneath the boat and almost panicked when I had difficulty getting out from underneath the boat. Luckly, I got out (or this would be a message from the grave) and Scott survived. It was great. I loved it.
Then there was some exploring of the beaches along with some climbing up and down poo covered cliffs.... And that is all that needs to be said there.
Then on Sunday it was a nice relaxing day of reading and going to church. Lots of fun.
Monday we toured a musuem then drove to the Hollywood sign. It was closed. We decided to walk thinking that it wouldn't be that far. If weren't for a group of people who told us that we were already 1/2 way there, I would have been like "nope, not going to do it".
They lied to us.
It was a pretty steep walk up. And it was hot. But worth it. Even though we couldn't actually get to the sign, I did get up to it. I don't know how ANYONE would be able to find it without a map. It is up a long winding road that is fun to go up even as it is scary.
Then on Tuesday we went to see The Price Is Right. Apperantly we aren't engertic enough to get put into the bowl to get picked, and there was an INSANE wait to even get into the studio- but it was fun.
And during this whole time, Scott and I spent A LOT of time together. I would have thought that half way through I would have been like "get away from me now". But I wasn't. This gives me great hope when it comes to finally finding someone to marry (Scott and I have agreed, that despite our coming to the date of when our back up engagement should have taken affect, we aren't right for each other) that I can do it- I can stand being stuck with someone, not just for this life, but for all eternity.
Over all- it was a lot of fun and just what I needed. 3 full days away from work, fun with a friend who is a great guy, and someone gave me an excuse to have an adventure.
I have lived in California for two years (as of Monday this week) and haven't been to the Hollywood sign. Which we had to hike 1.3 miles UP HILL to get to. All who know me know just about how much I whine. Especially when there is climbing invovled. For some reason, there was a to of climbing invovled in the adventures that occured this past week.
We went kayaking. And capsized when we were only 5 feet from shore. I was knocked underneath the boat and almost panicked when I had difficulty getting out from underneath the boat. Luckly, I got out (or this would be a message from the grave) and Scott survived. It was great. I loved it.
Then there was some exploring of the beaches along with some climbing up and down poo covered cliffs.... And that is all that needs to be said there.
Then on Sunday it was a nice relaxing day of reading and going to church. Lots of fun.
Monday we toured a musuem then drove to the Hollywood sign. It was closed. We decided to walk thinking that it wouldn't be that far. If weren't for a group of people who told us that we were already 1/2 way there, I would have been like "nope, not going to do it".
They lied to us.
It was a pretty steep walk up. And it was hot. But worth it. Even though we couldn't actually get to the sign, I did get up to it. I don't know how ANYONE would be able to find it without a map. It is up a long winding road that is fun to go up even as it is scary.
Then on Tuesday we went to see The Price Is Right. Apperantly we aren't engertic enough to get put into the bowl to get picked, and there was an INSANE wait to even get into the studio- but it was fun.
And during this whole time, Scott and I spent A LOT of time together. I would have thought that half way through I would have been like "get away from me now". But I wasn't. This gives me great hope when it comes to finally finding someone to marry (Scott and I have agreed, that despite our coming to the date of when our back up engagement should have taken affect, we aren't right for each other) that I can do it- I can stand being stuck with someone, not just for this life, but for all eternity.
Over all- it was a lot of fun and just what I needed. 3 full days away from work, fun with a friend who is a great guy, and someone gave me an excuse to have an adventure.
Friday, March 5, 2010
How??
How on earth do you people do it? How do you folks eat so much? Now I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad or say you over eat that is not the point. I'm an in some serious awe by people that can eat on a regular basis without even thinking about it.
Before I got pregnant I would eat 1300-1500 calories a day. Mostly out of fats, sugars and carbs so even though I wasn't doing much I didn't really gain weight nor loose weight I sat comfortably at 150lbs. But now I'm supposed to be eating 1700 during the first trimester and 2000 for the next two trimesters. Which is a whole heck of a lot of food for me. If all I had to do was eat ice cream then yeah that's easy but a healthy 1700 is really a lot. Today I did about 1500 today and boy am I stuffed. But sadly when I look at what I ate it wasn't much.
Half a Bagel- 2 Eggs- Slice of Toast- Juice: That was Brunch
2 Homemade Soft Tacos ( Beef, Lettuce, Tomatoes, Sour Cream, Cheese, Avocado, Tortillas)
2 Peeps
That was all. No other snacks, I drank some water but not nearly enough. While I was eating I wanted to stop several times and during the day I wasn't hungry. Now I'm sitting here dreading the fact that a desert or bed time snack still needs to be eaten. urggg.....
So you may all think I'm crazy that I should just learn to eat like a normal person but this is my rant so I can say whatever I want :)
Before I got pregnant I would eat 1300-1500 calories a day. Mostly out of fats, sugars and carbs so even though I wasn't doing much I didn't really gain weight nor loose weight I sat comfortably at 150lbs. But now I'm supposed to be eating 1700 during the first trimester and 2000 for the next two trimesters. Which is a whole heck of a lot of food for me. If all I had to do was eat ice cream then yeah that's easy but a healthy 1700 is really a lot. Today I did about 1500 today and boy am I stuffed. But sadly when I look at what I ate it wasn't much.
Half a Bagel- 2 Eggs- Slice of Toast- Juice: That was Brunch
2 Homemade Soft Tacos ( Beef, Lettuce, Tomatoes, Sour Cream, Cheese, Avocado, Tortillas)
2 Peeps
That was all. No other snacks, I drank some water but not nearly enough. While I was eating I wanted to stop several times and during the day I wasn't hungry. Now I'm sitting here dreading the fact that a desert or bed time snack still needs to be eaten. urggg.....
So you may all think I'm crazy that I should just learn to eat like a normal person but this is my rant so I can say whatever I want :)
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Do I actually get the chance to act like a teenager here?
Disclaimer for those who don't already know me... I am normally not like this. I just need a place to vent. My apologies for the length.
To start off, I'm going to introduce myself... in case you don't know who I am.
I am Arletta. I am 18 years old and I am Miriam's little sister. That's about all you really need to know, I think. The rest will be filled in as I start my rambling.
I started college when I was 16. I didn't really want to start that early, but I did anyway because my mom was really insistent on my doing so. I'm graduating with my A.A. degree this semester... which ends in less than two months. I have applied to two different universities and I am waiting to hear back from them both still. I finished my applications for both schools in October.
As you may imagine, I am rather upset about having to wait so long, but at the same time I'm incredibly worried that I won't be accepted into either school and if I do get accepted into the school, I may not get into the program because it's a really tough and fast program. My GPA is that amazing (3.4-ish) and I don't exactly stand out. People keep assuring me that I'll get in, but it just irritates me, sometimes. Sure I may be smart... in comparison to some, but I'm not incredible. I have nothing that set's me apart from others. There is no reason for these schools to pick me over others.
I don't have any real back-up plan if I don't get into either school. I'm constantly thinking of possibilities and then quickly throwing them away. School is where I want to be.
I hate where I live. I have been in the same house all of my life. I feel trapped and I am growing more and more frustrated with having to stay here. I've never been so bitter about something in my life. This place has nothing left to offer me. The schools here don't even come close to offering my desired subject (Multimedia and animation, by the way). The people here are generally terrible. There are a few people that I have met here that are genuine and I love them so much, but they aren't planning on staying. One of my best friends just moved to Philly another friend is from Hawai'i and doesn't plan on staying here any longer than April. The guys are jerks and the girls are brats. So many of them are kids.
I'm not saying I'm not a kid, but seriously, I'm 18. I have a little bit of leeway. I'm told I don't act my age, anyway. People constantly mistake me for 23-24 ish. Sometimes this bugs me because I feel like I can't act like an 18 year-old anymore. I feel like I have to act older than my 18 year-old friends. I want to be ME again. I don't want to be the mellow, down-to-earth teenager anymore. I don't want to be the one people go to for advise. I hate it when they assume that I know how to solve their problems when I'm 6 years younger than them. I have so little experience compared to them. What am I supposed to do? Pretend I'm Doctor Phil? (not like he's any good, anyway...)
I constantly ask myself the reason why I'm still here. What was I supposed to learn from staying. Why didn't I go to the Art Institute of Sacramento? I could have gotten out of florida and gotten the training I needed for what I want to do with myself... oh, right. Money. Cost WAY too much to go there.
I was planning on flying out to Oregon to buy my sister's car this summer and then drive back from there to where ever I'll be going to school. I just wrote her an e-mail telling her that I don't think it would be smart to do so anymore. It was such a hard thing to do. I don't have the money to spend on a trip like that. I wanted to go so bad. It was my motivation for just grinning and bearing whatever I was given, but now that's gone. I just want out. I feel trapped.
I think that's about all that I have to rant about, so I'll leave it there...
I'm asking as an inexperienced 18 year-old for advice. If you have any, please share it.
To start off, I'm going to introduce myself... in case you don't know who I am.
I am Arletta. I am 18 years old and I am Miriam's little sister. That's about all you really need to know, I think. The rest will be filled in as I start my rambling.
I started college when I was 16. I didn't really want to start that early, but I did anyway because my mom was really insistent on my doing so. I'm graduating with my A.A. degree this semester... which ends in less than two months. I have applied to two different universities and I am waiting to hear back from them both still. I finished my applications for both schools in October.
As you may imagine, I am rather upset about having to wait so long, but at the same time I'm incredibly worried that I won't be accepted into either school and if I do get accepted into the school, I may not get into the program because it's a really tough and fast program. My GPA is that amazing (3.4-ish) and I don't exactly stand out. People keep assuring me that I'll get in, but it just irritates me, sometimes. Sure I may be smart... in comparison to some, but I'm not incredible. I have nothing that set's me apart from others. There is no reason for these schools to pick me over others.
I don't have any real back-up plan if I don't get into either school. I'm constantly thinking of possibilities and then quickly throwing them away. School is where I want to be.
I hate where I live. I have been in the same house all of my life. I feel trapped and I am growing more and more frustrated with having to stay here. I've never been so bitter about something in my life. This place has nothing left to offer me. The schools here don't even come close to offering my desired subject (Multimedia and animation, by the way). The people here are generally terrible. There are a few people that I have met here that are genuine and I love them so much, but they aren't planning on staying. One of my best friends just moved to Philly another friend is from Hawai'i and doesn't plan on staying here any longer than April. The guys are jerks and the girls are brats. So many of them are kids.
I'm not saying I'm not a kid, but seriously, I'm 18. I have a little bit of leeway. I'm told I don't act my age, anyway. People constantly mistake me for 23-24 ish. Sometimes this bugs me because I feel like I can't act like an 18 year-old anymore. I feel like I have to act older than my 18 year-old friends. I want to be ME again. I don't want to be the mellow, down-to-earth teenager anymore. I don't want to be the one people go to for advise. I hate it when they assume that I know how to solve their problems when I'm 6 years younger than them. I have so little experience compared to them. What am I supposed to do? Pretend I'm Doctor Phil? (not like he's any good, anyway...)
I constantly ask myself the reason why I'm still here. What was I supposed to learn from staying. Why didn't I go to the Art Institute of Sacramento? I could have gotten out of florida and gotten the training I needed for what I want to do with myself... oh, right. Money. Cost WAY too much to go there.
I was planning on flying out to Oregon to buy my sister's car this summer and then drive back from there to where ever I'll be going to school. I just wrote her an e-mail telling her that I don't think it would be smart to do so anymore. It was such a hard thing to do. I don't have the money to spend on a trip like that. I wanted to go so bad. It was my motivation for just grinning and bearing whatever I was given, but now that's gone. I just want out. I feel trapped.
I think that's about all that I have to rant about, so I'll leave it there...
I'm asking as an inexperienced 18 year-old for advice. If you have any, please share it.
Working Late
Here at work we need someone to stay late the first night that we send out work so that we can get it ready for the next day. And since I am the self sacrficing self that I am, I volunteer- mostly because I will be taking the night shift for the rest of the week.
Well, since I am not on the clock, since I am not doing anything but sitting here, I have hijacked my friend's headphones and am sitting here and watching Netflix...
A bit of me feels just a bit bad for watching TV (movies) at work. And yet another part of me is snickering that I am watching TV (movies) at work.
Either way, I would be sitting somewhere watching something. Might as well sit here and be here when the workers come in to turn in their work.
Well, since I am not on the clock, since I am not doing anything but sitting here, I have hijacked my friend's headphones and am sitting here and watching Netflix...
A bit of me feels just a bit bad for watching TV (movies) at work. And yet another part of me is snickering that I am watching TV (movies) at work.
Either way, I would be sitting somewhere watching something. Might as well sit here and be here when the workers come in to turn in their work.
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